My Dearest friend.
Do you feel Worthy?
Let’s not confuse self-worth with self-esteem though. Self-worth and self-esteem are not the same.
- Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves,. E.g, I feel like a loser or I feel awesome
- Self-worth is the value we put on ourselves. E.g. I’m not important enough to be loved or I’m good enough to be loved
There is also a third element-Self-concept which is who we are committed to being. E.g. I’m not so confident right now but I’m committed to becoming confident.
These three elements are vital to being self-aware. And being self-aware is how we can change ourselves, succeed or overcome our problems.
Self-worth is the value we put on ourselves. We can either have high self-worth or a low self-worth. Someone with a high self-worth will be someone who knows that they deserve respect, success and love. Someone with a low self-worth will say things such as, “I feel useless” “I can’t do that” or “That will never happen to me”.
So, my friend, how do we build up our self-worth?
We can build ourselves up by first being self-aware of whats keeping us down.
1. Be Aware of Your Thoughts
Be aware of your thoughts and your words. What thoughts are you thinking to yourself? What are you saying to yourself? What beliefs do you have about yourself that are negative? Are any of them actually true?
Your thoughts and words are good indicators of the value you place on yourself. Identifying these factors is the first step in overcoming them and giving yourself a new story that encourages a high self-worth and is in line with your self-concept (who you want to become).
2. Be Aware of Your Feelings
Be aware of how you feel about yourself. Do you feel shit when someone betrays or says something that you disagree with? Take note of your feelings when people, events or circumstances trigger them.
For example, I know a guy who was going through a divorce. We were all happily socialising together at a birthday party of a mutual friend. The discussion of marriage naturally came up. While discussing the pros and cons of marriage, I voiced my unconventional opinion on marriage. I didn’t realise that he was currently going through a divorce and my opinion triggered a sarcastic response. He looked at me as though I had just stepped in poo. My opinion obviously triggered a negative emotion or guilt of his failed marriage.
3. Be Aware of How You TreatYourself
With the awareness of your thoughts and feelings, do any of them indicate a low self-worth or a high-self worth? Do you regularly put yourself down when things make you feel bad or something doesn’t go as planned? If you’ve realised that you beat yourself up regularly over negative things and situations then you think very little of yourself. The way you treat yourself is telling of your self-worth.
Now that you’re more aware of your self-worth and the patterns, you can now flip-the-switch. And you do that by eliminating old stories and beliefs with new positive ones. You need to challenge the old story and beliefs that aren’t supportive.
In conclusion my beautiful friend, look at yourself, your thoughts, your beliefs. And remember that you are divinely loved and you deserve all the beauty, wealth and abundance in the world. You have the ability to change and become the person you want to be. Change is simple, but not easy….buuuutttt totally worth it.
With so much love for you,